Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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