As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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