So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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