she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
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Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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