you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
