worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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