so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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