God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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