You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
worst night to have a conscience
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Panties = found
Randomize
