It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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