I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
