bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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