how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
