im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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