Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
