Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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