So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
