I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
