grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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