Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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