I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize