Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
