And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
