Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize