You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
