It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize