bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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