you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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