smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
