i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
