what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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