fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
