ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
