How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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