Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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