I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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