Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
