First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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