My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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