im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
