One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
pop tarts are not kleenex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
