i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize