i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
