took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
