would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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