well I can't set my house on fire every night
worst night to have a conscience
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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