i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
