I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
