there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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