I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
