This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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