spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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