Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
