wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
