I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
